How to Be a Good Boyfriend

This is an important skill to learn, as it will possibly make both you, and your girlfriend happier. Every girl is different. This is not a "one-size-fits-all" guide. This does however, give a good starting point for any relationship.

2.                     Remember that girls are often raised to be much more emotionally oriented than men. However, remember that unless your mate suffers from physical ailments that affect her mood, the mood swings that appear to be random for you may very well have significant reasons that you're just unaware of. After all, your partner is an entire person, with a lifetime of experiences, associations and memories, and emotional expressions result from a combination of factors which she may or may not be aware of. The best thing you can do is not take it personally, and try to help her discover and understand why her mood has taken a turn for the worse.

3.                     Don't brush her off. People often find it exasperating when they get the feeling their partner treats them as an inferior in a relationship. Women are no exception. A lot of women have been taught that the only way to get attention when their partner is trying to ignore them is to act more emotional and be louder until the partner finally surrenders and pays attention to her, even if in annoyance. If people feel they're being given the cold treatment by people who are supposed to be important to them, they get worried. Especially as it distinguishes them from you without giving an explanation for why this disturbance has occurred. People aren't mind readers. Your girl is not likely to be able to guess that you're cranky just because she wouldn't let you do something that she felt was very trivial, whereas you found it important. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say "I'm feeling really irritated right now. Can we talk about this later after I cool off a bit?" (Don't forget to follow through and actually give her your time later.)

4.                     Communicate. Do not talk her ear off, however make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, she is made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature. Zone out everything around you when you're talking to her. If you ask her a question, ask her because you really want to know. For example, ask her what types of movies she enjoys, or about one of her favourites. If you know it, talk about it a little bit in an honest way, what you thought of it, and make a guess at why she might have liked it. Even if you are wrong, a girl will usually love the fact that you are interested enough to try.

5.                     Give gifts as a surprise. Anyone can buy a gift for a birthday, Christmas or an anniversary. Listen to her when you are out window shopping, and if there is something she likes, and it's within your price range, remember it and surprise her with it when she least expects it, for no reason at all. Or pick something up on your way home from work, and tell her you were thinking of her when you saw it. It doesn't have to be big or expensive--a book you know she will like, or a CD of her favourite band are ideal gifts.

6.                     Mix things up. Go to a new restaurant, try a new nightclub or go to a new part of town. Even if you both end up hating it, it's an experience you can share and that's what it's all about isn't it? Creating memories together. Surprise her by doing something offbeat--think less maudlin and more personal. This includes anything from racing her to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing her a tub of LEGOS and encouraging their immediate use. You two should grow to be comfortable with each other, and doing things together without self-consciousness. Ideally, she should never feel stupid around you for wanting or doing a particular thing.

7.                     Compliment her sincerely. Find something particular and compliment her on it, but mean it. Don't just say, "You look nice". Say "That blue dress really makes your eyes flash", "Your hair cut really suits the shape of your face" or "That perfume makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss her neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.

8.                     Be a gentleman. Even the stuff that seems silly can make a great impression. Hold doors, pull out chairs, and generally treat her like a princess. No matter what the media tells you girls want, their heart will always go to the gentleman.

9.                     When your girlfriend calls you or asks you to call her back, just do it. She probably only wants to ask you about your night or talk to you about something real quick. If you don't call her back, she just might keep calling which will probably annoy you. So even if it's 4:30 in the morning and you suddenly remember when you get up to go pee, then call her; she'll like the fact that you did, even if she's asleep. Now if your girlfriend calls you obsessively, that's your own problem to deal with!

10.                 If you plan a date, rather you're going somewhere fancy or just to the movies and you can't make it, again just tell her. Yes she might be mad at you (more disappointed then anything) but you not calling for fear of her response will make her even more mad. BE A MAN! If you keep canceling though, yes we understand why she's mad.

11.                 Show some emotion sometimes. You don't necessarily want to be all over your girlfriend or be a whiny baby but be open about when you're happy versus when you are sad. If you have something to be mad about, just tell your girlfriend. The thing about girls? They love to talk about feelings (well most of them) and they're willing to listen. You're girlfriend will not think any less of you if you show emotion; don't worry -- you're still a man!

12.                 Girlfriends have a tenancy to do favors, leave notes and gifts and just be all around sweet. Yes we can embarrassing but realize she just wants to do something nice for you, so at least act like you appreciate it. Once in awhile make an effort to surprise her. Not necessarily with diamonds and rubies or with 100 dollar meals and fancy gifts, but with just taking the time to do something small and unexpected for her.

13.                 No need to be all romantic, some of the sweetest memories will be the things that you say or did not where you went or what you buy her; sure that does stick in our memory but there are more important things!

14.                 Don't get jealous easily. You don't want your girl to freak out if you talk to a girl, so don't freak out when she's talking to a guy; besides you never know -- it could be a brother, uncle, cousin...for all you know he could be gay!

15.                 Don't judge her by her clothes or the way she looks. Sometimes we don't feel like spending an hour plucking, tweezing, clipping this, applying that. Make sure she knows she can relax and be herself with you. Don't make her feel like she always has to look like a goddess.

Tips

•        Be accommodating. If there is something she likes to do, but you don't really like it, do it anyway, and don't complain. You will probably find that you enjoy doing the activity because you're with her.                           
•   Most guys are unaware, but most women love guys with manners. Hold the door for her, pull out her seat, and offer to pay every time (though allow her to pay if she is insistent).

·                       Playing hard to get doesn't work for most guys. Tell the girl you love that you do and keep reminding her.

·                       All girls have that time of the month. Be as supportive as you can because your girl might be grumpy and/or in pain but she wants your love and you have to be there for her. Nonetheless, do not explicitly mention the time of the month to her-a girl hardly enjoys knowing that the world can tell.

·                       If she is agitated, be nice to her, and don't get ticked off. Remember, she is not actually mad at you, or annoyed at you. She is just going through a hard time. Just let it roll off of you, like water off a duck.

·                       Keep in mind: the road will be difficult. As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of team work.

·                       Make sure you're clean and looking good...girls will notice if you put some thought into your appearance.

·                       If she asks, "Does this make me look fat," and it is not flattering to her, say: "I don't think it is as flattering to your beautiful body as ___" and suggest an alternative.

·                       Treat her like you normally do around your friends or else she will feel like you're embarrassed of dating her.

·                       Cook her a delicious meal. Any man can pay cash for a dinner at a fancy restaurant but it takes a special man to cook a homemade meal from the heart to his sweetheart.

·                       Remember, friends and family can be a strong influence on someone's decisions, so make sure you are honest, open and interested in them and don't criticize or make fun of them! It's the quickest way to lose someone.

·                       If you travel, stay in touch with her so she knows you haven't forgotten her.

·                       When she is mad at you, kiss her out of nowhere.

·                       If you are the jealous type, keep thinking to yourself: "When guys talk/look at my girlfriend, they are admiring me and giving me props". This might help quell any jealousy outbursts you may have.

·                       Never use pick up lines. They are the sign of a jerk, and no girl wants to date a jerk.

Warnings

·                       Never cheat. It remains perfectly understandable that you'll have wandering eyes, but realize where your heart is and stick to that. One time will be enough to convince a girl to dump you.

·                       Never hit a girl. Violence is unconditionally unjustified. You can hit them teasingly... Girls DO NOT like to be babied all the time and never be touched.

·                       Never over-do something. Switch things around a lot and you'll keep the excitement that builds a good relationship, though don't be too inconsistent.

·                       Never tell her she can not talk to her friends, even if they are guys.

·                       Give her space. She has friends, too, and doesn't want to be smothered.

·                       Try not to give her reasons to be jealous. Understand how your actions might look to her.

·                       Do not push her to do anything physical with you. She will let you know when she is ready.

·                       Any boy can wait until a girl is ready to do something physical, it takes a man to be chaste even when she doesn't seem to mind. Don't wait for her to tell you to stop: Ask her. "Is this okay?" is all it takes to make the difference between being the best boyfriend in the world and doing something you both will regret.

·                       Never hold her family's actions against her. No one can help what their family does or says. You can share with her that it bothers you what someone might have done or said but leave it alone after that.

·                       Try your hardest to do your part of forgive and forget and let it be. No one likes to be reminded of their mistakes.        

·                       Never forget her birthday or other events she will remember. Saying "Happy birthday" does not cut it; girls expect gifts for every holiday. If you do not get her something she will remember and think you're cheap! Late is better than never.

·                       Go her way but girls don't like guys who apologizes and asks suggestions from her all the time. Sometimes it's just Ok lead the way.

·                       Don't embarrass her. Most girls, especially if they are teenagers, get embarrassed if you talk about panties, bras, and things like that. Remember, those sorts of things may be attractive to you, but to her they may be something she doesn't want to talk about.

How to Be a Good Girlfriend

1.                     Be honest. While being honest to your mate is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you be honest to yourself. And, yes, in a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy.

2.                     Have a positive attitude. If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he will not look forward to seeing you. However, you don't always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships. No matter what, have a sense of humor. Have inside jokes together. Be spontaneous. Be happy.

3.                     Communicate regularly. Do not talk his ear off. However, make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, he is made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature.

4.                     Make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with his. Acting like you exist solely to please him will get you no respect and may even make him bored with your company. Showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person.

5.                     Be consistent. What exasperates men most in a relationship is having to go back and forth between moods, and having to tolerate irrationality.

6.                     Be patient. Don't automatically think he didn't hear you when you said something, maybe he was preoccupied. Don't jump to conclusions.

7.                     Accept the differences you have and learn to love them. Don't try to change each other - love one another for who each of you are.

8.                     Take an interest in his interests. You don't have to act like you love football, but at least try to understand why he's such a fan. Take an interest in his disinterests, too. He might be disinterested in what you like, so at least try to understand why he is not interested and respect it.

9.                     Buy him simple, unexpected gifts for no special reason once in a while. The thought is always appreciated and it makes the guy feel as if you really do care and love him. Some good gift ideas could be a new music CD he's been dying to get, a book or something else that he'll really like and will be surprised by. Guys like to be surprised with little gifts too.

10.                 Let him live his life. If you feel entitled to all of his time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Remember that he doesn't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When he needs some space, don't take it personally.

11.                 Remember to always be there when he needs a hug, or a kiss. Body contact is very important, and always warms up a relationship. But if he wants to do things you don't you absolutely have to tell him. If he cares about you, he will respect this!

12.                 Be yourself!

 

Tips

·                       Remember, it's better to give than to receive. The major religions got this right, and for a good reason: mysteriously, you gain more in the long run by giving than by getting. While love isn't all you need, it's the most important thing.

·                       Keep in mind: the road will be difficult and he won't ask directions. As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of team work and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back.

·                       Don't stop spending time with your girlfriends, they are necessary as to provide shoulders to cry on when you feel like your relationship is slipping away. If you and the boyfriend break up, they will still be there to say "We're here for you", so don't neglect them. Plus, spending some time apart will make him that much more glad to see you when you DO get together.

·                       Dress sexy once in a while. Don't do this too often but surprise him now and then with a hot outfit, which you buy with your own money. Nothing pumps a man's ego more than knowing that he's got a pretty girl by his side.

·                       If your boyfriend is acting Passive towards you when starting a new relationship (like not buying you stuff or not saying sweet things to you or not kissing you) it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. It most likely means he is shy and has never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. To solve this problem you can talk to him about acting that way, perhaps he's expecting you to take more initiative because you have had more experience with relationships than he has.

·                       Avoid having a "one track" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together.

·                       Forgive him. Guys mess up a lot, it's just the way they are. Learn to forgive and forget, and that's when your relationship will truly blossom.

 

Warnings

·                       Don't cheat,this will surely cause him to break it off with you,or in the least create major trust issues for the future,trust that is lost is very rarely ever gained.

·                       Don't conduct "secret tests" on your boyfriend to see what he'll do. It's humiliating, disrespectful and unfair, and you wouldn't want him to do that to you.

·                       It's fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about him, but remember to be respectful of him by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don't kiss and tell!) You can keep your girlfriends "updated" on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place (which are never your fault), in which case tell them everything.

·                       Don't ever try to flirt with other guys your boyfriend trusts you(hopefully)but won't after that

·                       Don't flirt with other guys in general. Try and stay close to your man, (just not too close!)

·                       Don't be clingy!

GOODLUCK!!!